The Bathematics

Ladies and gentlemen, let the bathing begin.
Fun Mountain
All kids love waterparks. But I think a certain experience as a young boy has really tainted my fondness towards them. Hot tubs in particular. Just imagine the ratio of actual water to piss in a water park that’s hosting several hundred kids. 
I can remember vividly after hitting the slides at Winnipeg’s “Fun Mountain” (well more of a hill than a mountain, but we’ll take what we can get in the Prairies,am I right folks?!) walking over to the large hot tub and jumping in. It wasn’t until we were already submerged in the tepid water for a few minutes that my Father noticed something alarming…..
"Hey Tys, (he’s one of the few people that calls me Tys) look at the color of the pool wall above the water and now look at the wall below the water line."
The concrete tub was huge and could easily fit 20-30 people in it. The walls were painted white but when you looked below the waterline it was a dark yellow. We immediately hopped out, completely grossed out.
As we were about to leave we looked at the tub one more time from our new vantage point and noticed a lady sitting in the water at the edge of the tub. A piece of shit was lightly bobbing in the water, next to her, gently tapping her shoulder. After a few seconds she turns her head to see who’s trying to get her attention. When she realizes that it’s literally a piece of shit, she screams and everyone gets out of the hot tub en masse! A lifeguard notices all the commotion and comes by with a big net and scoops the lil’ culprit out of the water. And to our horror and sick amazement, everyone jumps right back in! Phew, coast clear…. I guess.
Ever since then, I’ve avoided water parks and most public hot tubs. Am I being paranoid? Maybe. But I will always check the contrast of the color of the walls of a tub above and below the water. Just to be safe. That’s a little tip from me to you, for free-sies!

TB

Fun Mountain

All kids love waterparks. But I think a certain experience as a young boy has really tainted my fondness towards them. Hot tubs in particular. Just imagine the ratio of actual water to piss in a water park that’s hosting several hundred kids. 

I can remember vividly after hitting the slides at Winnipeg’s “Fun Mountain” (well more of a hill than a mountain, but we’ll take what we can get in the Prairies,am I right folks?!) walking over to the large hot tub and jumping in. It wasn’t until we were already submerged in the tepid water for a few minutes that my Father noticed something alarming…..

"Hey Tys, (he’s one of the few people that calls me Tys) look at the color of the pool wall above the water and now look at the wall below the water line."

The concrete tub was huge and could easily fit 20-30 people in it. The walls were painted white but when you looked below the waterline it was a dark yellow. We immediately hopped out, completely grossed out.

As we were about to leave we looked at the tub one more time from our new vantage point and noticed a lady sitting in the water at the edge of the tub. A piece of shit was lightly bobbing in the water, next to her, gently tapping her shoulder. After a few seconds she turns her head to see who’s trying to get her attention. When she realizes that it’s literally a piece of shit, she screams and everyone gets out of the hot tub en masse! A lifeguard notices all the commotion and comes by with a big net and scoops the lil’ culprit out of the water. And to our horror and sick amazement, everyone jumps right back in! Phew, coast clear…. I guess.

Ever since then, I’ve avoided water parks and most public hot tubs. Am I being paranoid? Maybe. But I will always check the contrast of the color of the walls of a tub above and below the water. Just to be safe. That’s a little tip from me to you, for free-sies!

TB

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